Earlier I used to think about the universe as a whole. The more I thought about it, the more it was absolutely clear to me that all the universe is divided into two very unequal parts: myself and the rest, and the second part is created by the first. This was not the result of some rational thoughts, just an inner feeling. At certain moments I felt that I am going mad and never will be able to return to the normal state, and this was very terrifying. I think about this less and less, the last time 7 years ago or so. I degraded, I suppose. Still, it is extremely interesting, what will happen when I will die.